And so wishing I could see into the future.
Let me start by saying that I adore my husband. He is the butter on my bread. And to know that he is mine forever just makes my heart happy. I know that families can be together forever and that eternal families are part of Heavenly Father's plan. Please click here if you want to know more about my beliefs on this beautiful truth. I look at my 4 children and can't believe that Matt and I made such beautiful, amazing, talented, funny, and precious beings. They keep our life exciting and full. I love them so much.
It's been a year now that we started the adoption process. A year! When we didn't get Victor, my heart was broken. If you aren't aware of that situation learn about our experience here. The Summer was tough, but we made some fun family memories camping and attending the Tripp family reunion in Utah, as well as cousin Christina's wedding. Sophia ran her summer camp. Rylie went on trek. Both girls went to girls camp. Eli and Ivy did swim lessons and played a lot with their friends. All in all it was really fantastic. Now school has started and our life has moved on. We think of Victor still and we hope his life is happy. It's weird not having him around anymore.
So, back to my tender feelings. To put it plainly and simply, the idea of adopting has not left my head or my heart. A couple of weeks ago while we were in Florida it was the thought that consumed me. On General Conference Sunday it seemed that every message that was given somehow tied back to adoption in my brain. The day we were at Wet 'N' Wild as I was counting heads in the wave pool, you know, to make sure all of my children were alive, I kept miscounting. I kept thinking that one head was missing. And then I realized that all of my children's heads were accounted for. And the thought that somebody was missing struck me. My sister in law had once told me that she experienced this very thing and that's how she knew that their precious #5 was waiting and needed to join their family. And not long after, little Madelynn Joy was born:) I knew I needed to talk to Matt about my feelings. And so I did. That very night. He said he needed time to think more about it, to pray about it. I told him I would never ever pressure him into it. This needed to be something we did together. The next night we looked at a couple of child profiles on the state adoption web site. Saturday we flew home from our awesome vacation, got home around lunch time and decided to take our pleadings to the Lord about this to the temple. Oh, how grateful I am to have a place to go to, where I can communicate with God, meditate and receive revelation for my life. And it's real. Revelation from God is real. I know it is. I can't very well explain it, but God can speak to our souls and we can understand Him if we are listening. And I know when I listen to those promptings that I receive, that my life makes more sense. I feel more enlightened. I seem to understand that I am being an instrument in His hands (in ways I couldn't if it was just me relying on me) and that my life has much more purpose.
Saturday night at the temple it became very obvious to both Matt and I that we are traveling down this adoption path for a reason. The spirit that we both felt was undeniable. There is a little person out there who needs us and we need to be his family. I still cannot believe we are doing this! Monday morning I contacted our caseworker. She was so happy to hear from us. I explained to her that we were ready to be matched to a child. And as I told her this I can't explain the peace that I felt. I know we are doing the right thing.
We have no idea how long this process will take or who our child will be, but we are willing to hold on and experience the up's and downs of this incredible and very emotional journey, for as long as it takes. And hopefully, one day soon we will get to meet and hold and hug our little boy. And he will know without question that he IS loved and WILL be loved unconditionally. He will be a part of our family FOREVER.
And then our family will be complete.
3 comments:
Whoa...this is so exciting!! I love how our Heavenly Father knows us, and how we can take each day of this journey into the unknown and know that we will be taken care of. And, it's nice to be able to look back where we've walked and see the reason of our path.
Good luck on this exciting endeavor!
I loved your words, and I am excited for you and your family. It is comforting to know that Heavenly Father is very aware of us. I'm sure you will be holding a new precious child in your arms very soon. What a lucky little boy he will be to become part of such a wonderful family.
I love this post. The knowledge and the joy really shines through. I know the feeling of knowing you need to adopt. Good luck to your family! I hope the process will be quick and painless!
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