It pains me to the very core when my children are hurting. I have a child right now who is struggling with feelings of frustration and loneliness. I remember having similar feelings to the ones she is experiencing in elementary school. I hate that she has to go through this, but I know that she is learning valuable life lessons that will help to carry her later in life and make her stronger. As she opened up to me tonight about her sadness I felt honored that she felt she could talk to me and seek my advice. I must be doing something right. When my kids are hurting I feel this "mother bear" instinct. Part of me wants to rip off heads while the more sane part of me truly does understand that if I can teach my kids to cope positively with conflict that they will find much more success and happiness in life. We had a great conversation. We talked of similar feelings that I experienced in elementary school and how I coped. I told her that the hard times don't go away when you get older, so it's important to learn to be positive because hard times are a part of life. I was able to share with her my testimony that if we seek out our Heavenly Father and tell Him our struggles and ask Him for strength and comfort that He will carry us through our hard times. I truly do believe that. I was able to talk to her about the importance of believing in herself and believing that she is a person of great worth. A daughter of God. A daughter of parents who love her so much. We talked about what makes a friend a true friend and talked about ways that she could be a better friend to others. I hope that her struggle is short lived. I hope that she never feels that she is completely alone and that she will come to me whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes this parenting stuff breaks my heart, but I would not have it any other way. I love being a Mommy.
17 comments:
I like to refer to this as "parent pain." It is the most profound pain to see your child struggling. On the other side, there is no joy as profound as "parent joy."
Good job, mom!
sorry to hear about the struggle, but I hope that my kids feel they can also talk to me when they are having struggles too, that's awesome!
Love ya
Your kids are so lucky to have you!
Tell her I hope things get better for her.
Thanks for your comments, they help out alot!
You are such a great mom. Watching your girls dance it breaks my heart as well to imagine one of them lonely or sad. They are all such beautiful girls.
That is SO great that she wants to talk to you about it. I hope that she is able to make it through this hard time. You're such a great mom!
Doggone it, Ton, makin' me cry like that! How great that she has you to lean on, and cry with, and learn from. It's definitely the way it's supposed to be, huh?
oh ton, that gave me chills. everyday i drop cayd off for kindergarten i feel like i'm feeding him to the vultures. he's so self conscious and struggles a little socially already. it's such a tough time of life, school years but you're awesome and she'll rise above. thanks for the reminder to really be there for our kids.
First off...I love the song "You're Not Alone" because it reminds me of my baptism when I felt alone since my mom and dad didn't come.
Second off...I am SO with you on this. It breaks my heart too. Part of me wants to beat up the little rotten kid, the other part doesn't want to get arrested. LOL.
She is lucky to have you.
Oh that makes me sad for her! I did not have a good elementary experience either, but just remind her it gets much better! You're a great mom- that'll help her get through it! o and the craft supplies.... I might come pick them up Saturday since Chris is working all weekend! If not I'll get them from you Sunday! Thanks! Can't wait to see what you've created!
Man, being a kid is so rough! And kids can be so mean to each other! I think most of us can relate to what your daughter is going through. I really feel for her. We love our kids sooo much and to see them suffer like that has got to be the worst! Emma is only 2, and I dread the heartache that most surely will come our way. But as you explained, these trials are a part of life. You really explained it all so well! I'll have to save this post and refer to it as needed when Emma is older and dealing with mean kids at school! Your kids are lucky to have such a loving and supportive mom. Good job Tonya! And I hope tings get better for your girl :)
I hate to say it, but just WAIT til Middle School. The drama only increases.
You certainly must be doing something right for your growing daughter to come to you in times of distress. That is so awesome and she is so lucky to have you. Keep up the great work, Mama!
Being a kid is so hard...it's a wonder that any of us survived.
And Scott and I thought Matt's Uranus comment was funny. Tee hee.
I can really empathize with you both. I can remember too many of those bumps along the road of growing up, and how painful they were, and now I'm having to have a few of those talks with my own kids as they hit them too. It's great that your kids will come talk to you and see you as someone who can, and will, help them through whatever they face. Far more than the help you're rendering for the immediate situation, you're laying stronger and stronger foundations of love and trust with your children which will help so much when the (shudder) Teenage Problems start to kick in. :)
tonya you are such an awesome mom! i wish i had all your wisdom and patience and love and great parenting skillz! being a mom is wonderful, but painful at the same time! it is heartbreaking when our kids hurt! just keep doing what your doing!
Growing up is hard. You are such a wonderful mom with such great advice.
It's SO hard to see your kids hurt or sad. I agree that it breaks your heart. How wonderful that she feels comfortable and will talk with you about it--keep that line of communication open! By the way, I will mail off your Christmas presents this week--hopefully they'll make it before Christmas!
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