I'm not depressed. I haven't lost hope. I can get out of bed in the morning and look at myself and think good thoughts. But, I am down. My doctor once explained to me that no, I wasn't depressed, but definitely had some anxiety. At that time she drew my blood to test for some vitamin deficiencies. I was very much lacking in Vitamin D. And low levels of Vitamin D can mean mood swings and fatigue. I started a regiment of 2000 IU's of Vitamin D each day. And I noticed a difference. That was two-ish years ago.
Lately I have been having a hard time shaking this down feeling. I feel more on edge. I don't like it.
This morning I got mad at one of my children for dumping a clean load of whites all over the laundry room floor instead of taking it to the couch. Now there was a huge mess of clean clothes mixed with dirties. The horror! Don't they know that clean laundry always goes on the couch? Well, it does. I know that this scenario probably would have made any Mom get annoyed. The thing is, I felt more than annoyed. I felt really mad! And I let this child know it. It's instances like this that make me wonder if it's time that I go back to the doctor to talk about anxiety drug options.
I don't want to let trivial things set me off like that. But it is PMS week.
I HATE hormones!
Maybe I'm over thinking this?
Maybe I need more Vitamin D? Like a bottle a day?
This anxiety/depression thing runs in my family. I just never wanted to be the one that actually needed the help of drugs. I've taken every measure that I know how to combat this naturally. I'm not so sure I'm winning.
And I need to win this for me, my kids, my husband and my sanity.
I know this is just a trial and that I can learn from it. Even be strengthened by it.
I have hope.
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about dancing in the rain."
7 comments:
Wow! I get this way, but I never knew you did. Yes, check with you doctor. Did the vitamin D help you before? Maybe you're just off on that again. Hope you get some good answers. I'd love to hear them when you do. Love you!!!
I get this way too. I didn't realize that you OR Julie got that way. I'm thinking it happens to more people than we realize.
Vitamin D definitely helps me, and I know the naturopath also checked my thyroid. Fortunately that was normal but definitely was low on Vit D!
Good luck Tonya. Love ya!
Based on the other comments, I would say your reactions/behavior (and most likely what you're feeling) is in the normal realm of human behavior for someone in your situation (raising four kids!). Everyone has periods of ups and downs in life and it's totally normal! I'm not saying you shouldn't go to a doctor if that's what you feel is really needed, but be careful because many doctors will just prescribe meds when patients ask for them. Also, taking meds (while can be helpful and needed in some situations) just manage symptoms and don't teach coping mechanisms or change the behavior/emotions that lead to the anxiety. Lastly, (and probably because this is my husband's profession) there are people more qualified to help you than MD doctors (unless specialized in mental health). Good luck in figuring out how to best handle this!
I'd be mad too if my kids did that! What buggers! : ) I take vitamin D and I have noticed a difference as well. Maybe you need to take more? Or maybe you just need a trip to Mexico to get some sun? Hang in there, that trip to the sun is around the corner. Love you!
We all get there from time to time, I'm sure we can relate to those moments. Or days. Or weeks :(
But if this is becoming a long term burden for you, rest assured that
* There is hope. There is always hope.
* You are surrounded by friends who care about you and what you're going through, and will give you encouragement and support.
* There are so many things that can affect our bodies and minds that can do exactly this kind of thing. Keep looking for answers and people who can help. MDs, naturopaths, whatever will help.
i think you know my thoughts on the matter.
it's almost like you've copied and pasted my very similar post from this very similar time last year.
the choice i made at that time was the best decision i have EVER made. i would choose the same over and over again.
if you think meds make a person weak or less capable then you're wrong. it takes courage to reach for help when help is needed. it is not YOU. the anxiety and blues mask the true YOU. the potential is there. you know it and that's why you become frustrated when you can reach it on your own. "what is wrong with me? i should be happy but ...."
dang girl. i could go on and on. it bothers me when people say "we all have our bad days" as if to imply bucking up and knocking off the whining is the only solution. yes, we all have our bad days but now, my bad days are not even a fraction of the kind of "bad" days i had before.
and i could go on and on and on :)
{{hugs}}
My dad went on a big vitamin d kick a few years ago and was telling everyone to take vitamin d. I was certain that I was fine and didn't need any. A little later I went to the doctor because I was having headaches everyday. Come to find out that I was vitamin d deficient. They put me some serioud d pills and now I take a 50,000 iu tablet every ten days which equates out to be 5,000/day. It makes a HUGE difference.
I totally get what you are saying. There's definitely a couple days every month that I way over react on everything.
Good luck! I think it's admirable that you are being honest with yourself and admitting that something isn't right.
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